When father's are just involved in the "execution" part of childcare then they are behaving like "day laborers." Waiting to be told what they are to do. Doing that task only. What women need is a fully engaged "professional worker." Someone who fully takes on the job of parent. Shows up early, stays late, always looking for new aspects to the job, following the development of the project and its changing needs, doing research, anticipating new issues, assuming full responsibility for all components of the job, not sitting around waiting for someone to hold their hand and tell them what to do next. Day laborer = no mental load. Professional...that's the mental load.
I think the idea "take initiative" works for women. But for men the comparison to work is important in helping them to "get it." It lets them see, "Oh, you mean I should take on responsibility at home the way I do at work." The parallels to the "not really trying worker" whose load they have to help carry vs being the one who steps up and gets involved, is one they can more viscerally identify with. In my thinking anyway.
Great interview!! I hadn’t heard of Catherine’s work before.
When father's are just involved in the "execution" part of childcare then they are behaving like "day laborers." Waiting to be told what they are to do. Doing that task only. What women need is a fully engaged "professional worker." Someone who fully takes on the job of parent. Shows up early, stays late, always looking for new aspects to the job, following the development of the project and its changing needs, doing research, anticipating new issues, assuming full responsibility for all components of the job, not sitting around waiting for someone to hold their hand and tell them what to do next. Day laborer = no mental load. Professional...that's the mental load.
that's a great metaphor, Kathleen! I might summarize it as someone who "takes initiative"
I think the idea "take initiative" works for women. But for men the comparison to work is important in helping them to "get it." It lets them see, "Oh, you mean I should take on responsibility at home the way I do at work." The parallels to the "not really trying worker" whose load they have to help carry vs being the one who steps up and gets involved, is one they can more viscerally identify with. In my thinking anyway.
good point. I think getting men to recognize that they already have these skills and use them in their professional life is a smart strategy