The amount of PR emails I get from famtech companies makes me want to scream. That’s not a solution, it’s a bandaid. Thank you for articulating this so poignantly.
"That’s because relationship problems can masquerade as logistical problems. No calendar feature is going to cure your partner of patriarchal thinking." Yes! I am so glad the NYT reached out to you. Tools are great - if both partners use them. But if you don't tackle the underneath stuff... that tool is short lived.
Absolutely right on! How typical that our consumer obsessed society thinks an expensive technological gadget can solve an existential-cultural problem.
Allison! This is so smart. I read that NYT article (and was pleased to see you quoted there) even though I hate this kind of solution to domestic labor/the mental load for all the reasons you list here. But I love your take on it here.
Spot on. I ended a loving yet unaligned relationship over what my then partner deemed as their calendar being too full too far out. For any time I wished to spend or any weekend I wished to plan, I had already been beaten to the punch, months if not years in advance. “Ooh, a romantic weekend roadtrip would be lovely but I always spend the second weekend in May with my best college friend at their cabin, because my running club has an annual retreat every Memorial Day so that was already booked.” This is no exaggeration. When they were in town, I was “given” (most)Friday evenings, but not Saturday mornings and even that was posed as a small miracle. Lucky me! This is a light example of the much heavier weight of misaligned desires masquerading as logistical problems.
oh wow, that's fascinating! I hear more often about cases where a partner refuses to calendar/look far ahead - this is a good reminder that one can definitely rely too heavily on the calendar...
Ugh yeah. I just sent my daughter’s dad a spreadsheet for summer. Which then turned, after a short contentious discussion, into an email about mediation. I wish I was trying to be funny here!!!
The amount of PR emails I get from famtech companies makes me want to scream. That’s not a solution, it’s a bandaid. Thank you for articulating this so poignantly.
"That’s because relationship problems can masquerade as logistical problems. No calendar feature is going to cure your partner of patriarchal thinking." Yes! I am so glad the NYT reached out to you. Tools are great - if both partners use them. But if you don't tackle the underneath stuff... that tool is short lived.
Absolutely right on! How typical that our consumer obsessed society thinks an expensive technological gadget can solve an existential-cultural problem.
Allison! This is so smart. I read that NYT article (and was pleased to see you quoted there) even though I hate this kind of solution to domestic labor/the mental load for all the reasons you list here. But I love your take on it here.
Spot on. I ended a loving yet unaligned relationship over what my then partner deemed as their calendar being too full too far out. For any time I wished to spend or any weekend I wished to plan, I had already been beaten to the punch, months if not years in advance. “Ooh, a romantic weekend roadtrip would be lovely but I always spend the second weekend in May with my best college friend at their cabin, because my running club has an annual retreat every Memorial Day so that was already booked.” This is no exaggeration. When they were in town, I was “given” (most)Friday evenings, but not Saturday mornings and even that was posed as a small miracle. Lucky me! This is a light example of the much heavier weight of misaligned desires masquerading as logistical problems.
oh wow, that's fascinating! I hear more often about cases where a partner refuses to calendar/look far ahead - this is a good reminder that one can definitely rely too heavily on the calendar...
Ugh yeah. I just sent my daughter’s dad a spreadsheet for summer. Which then turned, after a short contentious discussion, into an email about mediation. I wish I was trying to be funny here!!!
oh boy, my condolences!